Loved Much

Love is the most recognized attribute of God, yet it remains the most difficult to understand and practice. Sure, while a theoretical understanding of love is accessible to many, the absolute and unconditional love of God is seldom appreciated in its true magnitude. Dare I say, it may even be impossible for us finite humans to fully comprehend and embody this infinite love. Nevertheless, we are called to seek Him, to feel our way toward Him, and in finding Him, gain a more thorough understanding of what His love truly entails. As Paul wrote: “For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.” (1 Corinthians 13:12). 

If we are to tackle the multidimensional nature of love, we must start with its most demanding expression: forgiveness. “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” (1 Peter 4:8). 

Forgiveness is notoriously difficult to navigate. Consider Zacchaeus, the tax collector (Luke 19:1-10). The mere presence of Jesus and His willingness to be a guest in a sinner’s house was enough to trigger radical repentance. Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” (Luke 19:8). In this scenario, forgiveness feels “easy”. Zacchaeus is forgiven by the Lord, and when restitution is fourfold, anyone who might have been cheated by Zacchaeus wouldn’t have any issues forgiving him. But what happens when restitution is impossible? Suppose someone has harmed us in the past and left us with painful literal and figurative scars which cannot be undone. Even if they return with true remorse, begging for forgiveness, they cannot “un-break” what was broken. Do we still forgive? What if the offense is repetitive? 

When Peter asked this very question, Jesus replied with the parable of the unmerciful servant (Matthew 18:21-35). We are often tempted to act like that servant who, despite having an unpayable debt forgiven, refused to extend a fraction of that mercy to a peer. By withholding grace, the ungrateful servant effectively condemned himself. Jesus concludes with a warning: “So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” (Matthew 18:35).

Why is it so hard to let go and forgive others? Usually, it is because we fail to appreciate the magnitude of the forgiveness we have already received. If we truly grasped the debt cleared from our own accounts, mercy and forgiveness would not be a chore; it would be an overflow.

Jesus explained this to Simon the Pharisee after a “sinful” woman anointed His feet (Luke 7:36-50). Observing Simon’s judgment, Jesus noted, “Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” (Luke 7:47). When we remember that we are forgiven and cleared of our multitude of sins through the blood of Christ, who suffered willfully on the cross for us “wretched sinners”, we would find the strength to show a fraction of that love to those who wrong us. 

A cynical skeptic might ask, “This all assumes the offender repents. What about those who don’t? Am I permitted to hold a grudge if they never ask for pardon?” 

Scripture suggests a higher road. In fact, forgiving the unrepentant is the ultimate imitation of Christ. “But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” (Romans 5:8). Christ didn't wait for our apology to mount the cross; He provided the bridge while we were still His enemies.

Forgiveness has two distinct parts: granting and receiving. Granting is our responsibility. We release the person from the debt they owe us, freeing our hearts from the poison of bitterness. Receiving is the offender’s responsibility. To claim the peace of that reconciliation, they must acknowledge the wrong. If we refuse to grant forgiveness, we jeopardize our own spiritual health. As we pray in the Lord’s Prayer: “And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors” (Matthew 6:12). This isn't a suggestion; it is a spiritual law. 

For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. (Matthew 6:14-15). 

We see the extreme application of this in the martyrdom of Stephen (Acts 7:60). As he was being stoned, he echoed Jesus’ words from the cross: “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” This act of radical grace arguably tilled the soil for the conversion of Saul (Paul), who stood by watching. The forgiveness we extend today, even to those who seem “undeserving”, is a billboard for the Gospel.

Of course, this is easier to write than to live. Putting love and forgiveness into practice requires supernatural help. We must ask God for a “childlike heart”, one that is quick to forgive. We must also learn to see others through the lens of the Redeemer. Where Simon saw a “sinner”, Jesus saw a woman “who loved much and was forgiven much” (Luke 7:39,47). Where the crowd saw a “sinner”, Jesus saw a “son of Abraham” (Luke 19:7,9). If we learn to see as our Lord sees, the barriers to forgiveness begin to crumble. Our Lord is forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to Him. Let us, therefore, bear with each other and forgive as the Lord forgave us.

And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. (Ephesians 3:17-19).